S.W.A.T.

 

This morning as I emerged from my bedroom I was greeted by Coby and his new RIOT SHIELD. He had been up since 6 a.m. feverishly working in the garage to make this new item of necessity.

When asked why he felt it necessary to create a riot shield, Coby replied, "You can never be too prepared."

P.S. As you can see it is not quite finished yet... Coby desires to spray paint it black. (He asked me to add that to the blog as he didn't wany anyone to think he would just leave it like that.)

Subconscious

Coby has always been early riser. We never had to wake him up. He was up with the birds - literally. But lately something has changed... it is harder to wake him up. Could it be the fact that he is a teenager and that is what they are supposed to do? I wasn't sure so I asked Coby about it.

"Coby, I think maybe you need to start going to bed earlier because I am having a really hard time waking you up in the morning." Coby, "No Mom, that wouldn't help at all." Me, "I think it would help a lot, you would be better rested and more pleasant. :)" Coby, "You don't understand the problem Mom." Me, "Why don't you explain it to me?"

Coby, "The problem is that when you wake me up you only wake me up to my subconscious level and you need to be waking me up to my mentally conscious level so that I can be aware of my surroundings."

Pause.... (Mom is thinking of what to say next) "Coby, I am pretty sure you just need to go to bed earlier."

I started thinking about how I would wake him up in the morning to be sure that he was fully aware of his surroundings. I could say, "Coby, honey - sweetheart. This is Mom. Tell me if you understand. Are you mentally conscious? Can you tell me if you are aware of your surroundings?"

Instead, I am pretty sure I will stick with my, "I said GET UP!" method. It gets the job done.

Cramster

Prologue: In the past trying to get Coby to do homework has not been pleasant. Usually it consists of, "Coby, do you have homework?" "No Mom I did it all at school." While exploring the backpack and skyward account we would learn that he did indeed have homework... he just seemed to have magically forgotten about it. It has never been an easy process and yesterday I received a little gift from heaven...

Yesterday was the second day of school. When I got home from work and asked Coby how his day was, he said it was really good. He told me that he needed to find our calculator because he had a homework assignment. Now to many people this may not seem like a big deal, but for me this was HUGE! It is so exciting that I will repeat what I just wrote: Coby said, "I need to find the calculator because I have a homework assignment." My first reaction was, "Praise Jesus."

We found him a calculator and he went into his room with his homework and he sat quietly in his room for 40 minutes. I managed to peek (Mom's word for spy) on him several times because I was certain he had fallen asleep or had taken up a new activity. Everytime I looked he was working hard.

When he finally exited his room he came and found me and said, "That was unbelievable Mom, I finally know what that feeling is like when you finish your homework and get something done on time." He got a big hug from Mom!

Moving Day

We are in the midst of moving and I just found this written on one of the boxes Coby packed. I think I am going to take the message seriously.

Breakfast of Champions

Poke, poke, poke. It was 6 am and I woke up to little fingers poking me and an adorable little 4 year old face staring right at me. What made this face even cuter was a large dark circle around his mouth, under his nose and down to his chin and smeared all over the fingers that were poking me. It took me a couple of seconds to realize that Coby had obviously made himself breakfast.

What could it be? It was the breakfast of champions of course, the ice cream sandwich. I sat up and asked him, “Coby, did you eat an ice cream sandwich this morning?” Coby, “No Mom, I promise I didn’t.” Me, “Lets go in the kitchen and see what is going on in there.”

I walk into the kitchen to search for evidence. It was not hard to find. Here were my clues:
1. Freezer door wide open
2. Chair pulled up to the fridge, so that someone who is not that tall can reach the freezer.
3. Box of ice cream sandwiches sitting on the counter.
4. Three empty wrappers stuck to the counter that looked like they had been quickly devoured.

Me, “Coby, let me ask you again, are you sure you didn’t eat an ice cream sandwich for breakfast?” Coby, “Mom, I promise it wasn’t me.” I took him through each step of the evidence asking him how he thought the door got open and why the wrappers were empty. Finally Coby says, “Okay Mom, it was me. I ate the ice cream sandwiches. I can’t believe you figured it out!”

Sunny the Hamster

Prologue: This story doesn’t have a lot to do with Coby… but it is so worth telling that I am including it.

It was the day of Coby’s 5 year old birthday party. Coby came downstairs and told me that I better come look at his brother Jake’s hamster Sunny, because she didn’t look good. I went up with Coby and sure enough there lay Sunny in her cage. Sunny side up!

I went and found Jake, age 8, and sat him down and told him the sad news. He began to cry silent tears and I tried to comfort him. I asked him if there was anything I could do to help. He told me, “I want to call Dad.”

Dad had offered to take our daughter Amanda, age 11, to piano lessons that day so that I could prepare for the birthday party. I gave Jake my cell phone and let him call his dad.

Dad answered the phone and Jake began to cry and say, “Sunny is dead! I can’t wake her up! She is just laying there.”

What Dad heard on the other end was, “MOMMY is dead! I can’t wake her up! She is just laying there.”

The next thing I know I am watching Jake start to shake Sunny while he yells “Wake Up! Wake Up!” Then he slaps her in the face – nothing happens! Then he runs to the bathroom and gets water in his hands and splashes it on Sunny. I am watching in amazement wondering what in the world Dad is saying to this poor child on the other end of the phone.

Next thing I hear Jake say, “Thank you Dad.” He hangs up the phone.

Mom, “Jake what is going on? What did Dad say to you?”

Jake, “Mom don’t worry – Dad is calling 911 and he is on his way home.”

I try not to freak out and pick up the phone and keep trying to dial my husband to find out what he is thinking! I can’t get through; the phone keeps giving me a busy signal.

In the meantime, my husband had run into the piano lesson, pulled Amanda out and said, “We need to leave immediately, Mom is unconscious and we need to get home." Amanda begins to cry and runs out of piano lessons and jumps in the car with Dad.

The piano teacher happens to be a pastor’s wife so she immediately calls her church and I am put on 3 different prayer chains. My husband calls his co-workers after hanging up with 911 and asks them to go to the house to be there with Jake and Coby, because they are close by.

I keep trying to call my husband as I see a police car pull up outside of my house and my husband’s boss and my husband’s father pull up. They get out of the car and are on their cell phones. I finally get through to my husband as they are all walking up and tell him it was the HAMSTER! He starts laughing hysterically and says I need to call 911 and tell them not to come. Too late!

I yell at the door to everyone walking in that I am okay – it was the HAMSTER! I hear people on their cell phones saying, ‘It’s the hamster… it’s the hamster.”
I welcome everyone into our home and tell them what happened and everyone is laughing hysterically.

During this time I notice that poor Jake is sitting off to the side with a very sad face. The reality was that Sunny was still not waking up. He didn’t think anyone cared.

I pulled Jake aside and explained to him that people weren’t laughing because Sunny was dead. They weren’t happy about that, they were just happy that it was Sunny and not Mommy. I asked if he could understand that.

He thought about it for awhile and in a very serious voice looked at me and said, “I loved you both the same.”

Pass the Turkey

It was Thanksgiving 2003. Before we began dinner we did our usual tradition of going around the table and giving everyone a chance to say what they were thankful for. As we went around the table there was a general consensus that people were thankful for family and friends. The last person to share what they were thankful for was Coby, age 6. His response was:
“I am most thankful for National Security.”

13 Things To Do Before School Starts:

Prologue: I came home from work and found this scribbled out on a pad of notepaper by Coby...

1. Act like spy for a day
2. Adopt strange mannerisms
3. Be annoying
4. Be somebody else
5. Become paparazzi
6. Become no one (Invisible)
7. Exorcise a ghost
8. Fake an accent
9. Messaging Machine (He has an app on his phone that lets him change his voice and leave messages for people)
10. Say hey hoo
11. Play air guitar
12. Flirt with people.

Epilogue: Notice there are only 12... by the way at dinnner last night in the middle of the meal Coby yelled out, "When I say Hey - You say Hoo" "Hey...." cut to blank stares and shocked faces

Roasted Nuts

Prologue: Thought I would start the first story out with a bang... This is a story from 3 days ago:

Before 8:00 am I got a call at work. It was Coby and I ask him how he is. He says, "Terrible!" Apparently he had been cutting habaneros (Why at 7:30 am he would be doing that?? I am not sure) He was in the middle of cutting and then had to go to the bathroom. He did NOT wash his hands before he went to the bathroom. So when he called me he told me, "My nuts are burning and I need to go to the hospital! They need to treat me immediately because this is classified as a chemical burn." I say, "Let me just look on the Internet real quick to see if I can find out if there is anything you can do that will help."

I start googling "Pepper Burns" and Coby goes into a frantic rant about how I need to make sure that it treats for the specific habanero he was using because this was no ordinary habanero. I tell him that the treatment I found was for all peppers and chilies. He then proceeds to go into a two minute rant about acidity and other stuff I didn't understand.

What I discovered was that if he soaked his skin in milk for 30 minutes the burn will go away. I tell him, "You need to get a big plastic cup (for his ego of course I said big) and fill it with milk, find a good book to read and go sit in the bathroom and soak 'your friends' for at least a half hour."

Coby's reply, "Its too late Mom, my nuts are FRIED!"


Epilogue: Coby is totally fine. I sent this story to a few friends and this was my favorite response, from a friend who is a nurse in an ER: "I don't even know what to say except that: you are the greatest mom for getting him to use the "BIG cup", you are the greatest friend for sharing this "Nutty" story and you are the greatest citizen for not rushing him to the ER!"